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Showing posts from 2018

The March blog that never was

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This blog has started and been erased a half dozen times. It’s even saved in my computer as “blog March.” But now it’s April and that’s ok.
So, I don’t know about you, but I’m a forgetter. Each time some new crisis or unknown comes along, I get lost in the forest and I’m blinded by the trees. “There’s no way through THIS one,” I think. And the worry and stress take over. The need to change or fix or correct is strong with me. Mostly, it’s the now things: the state of the house, the fight with him, the things that never got done, she’s not eating enough protein, there’s no audiologist here, what if we have a major medical emergency, apathy toward things I should care about, her messy room, no exercise in three days, the laundry mountain hiding in the back, the pile of dishes mocking from the kitchen, the unwritten sermon…
And then, those lead into the bigger worries. Are we doing the right thing for our daughter by living in this country? Is she seeing Jesus in us? Will she grow up no…

Changing the way I think

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I am a feeler, through and through. Justin and I took the Strengths Finder test as part of our missionary orientation, and it became obvious on paper what we already knew: the analytic married the one who wears her heart on her sleeve. In 11 years of marriage, what we’ve discovered is that we have the capacity to complement each other well, but we also have the tendency to be like oil and water if we’re not careful.
So, after a tough month back in PNG after vacation, I was struck hard when I read the paraphrase of the verse above: Romans 12:2 says, “Let God transform you by changing the way you think.” But what about how I feel? Nope. The original says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your MIND.” I’m learning to own the feeler/relator that I am, but sometimes, I know that my feelings betray me. How? Feelings do not always equal truth. Just because I feel something in a moment, whether it is frustration, happiness, sadness, disappointment, or any other of a plethora of emotions, d…