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Showing posts from October, 2012

If Only.

I have talked before about how I feel somewhat ill-prepared to be a mom.  I suppose all of us do.  Or maybe we feel ill-prepared for whatever comes our way in this life.  It would actually be easy for me to accuse someone else for not preparing me for what I need to know: my parents, pastors, teachers, etc.  But the truth is, that is going down a road that is dangerous (the blame game).  And as much as I feel I don't know, there are so many things that I DID learn while I was growing up.  This week, Justin and I have had some interesting discussions about what it is that keeps us from doing what we feel we need to do, when we need to do it.  We have talked a lot about how we trade one "if only" for another...what do I mean?  For me, it's been a range from "if only I were thinner" or "if only I had a Master's Degree" and "if only I had more money."  I may achieve one thing I wanted for myself, only to find I've traded that 'i
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A new season. It's autumn again, my favorite season of the year.  And it's funny...you know how you time your life in terms of 'before college' and 'after college' or 'before we were married' and 'after we were married.'  Now, ours is 'before Taiwan' and 'since we've been home from Taiwan.'  I am constantly blown away at how much Amber Joy is changing and growing.  Right now, as I type, she's in her purple Tinkerbell pj's walking around, hiding a block in the entertainment center, looking at me and raising her hands as if to say 'where did it go?' and then finding it over and over again.  That's crazy to me...she's WALKING, she's PLAYING, she's SMILING and LAUGHING and she's learning new things every.single.day. On Labor Day weekend, we moved from Goodlettsville, and the first house that Justin and I bought as a couple, to my parents' home in Murfreesboro.  The decision was mainly ba