Miller Plus One

After some silence, I finally feel like there's a new conversation with God bubbling up inside.  Justin and I just took a quick roadtrip to Atlanta and had some decent talking time.  I mentioned to him that this March will mark 15 years since my sister died.  In typical Justin fashion, he presented me with a question that is going to make me think A LOT over the next few months.  He asked if I felt like I could celebrate that day at all.  March 9.  For almost 15 years, it has been a day that we commemorate for sure, but celebrate?  Seriously?  I felt my chest tighten as soon as he said it.  My first response was something about how I find it easier to celebrate her birthday rather than her death day, to which he nodded.  But then he said, "it's the day she got to meet Jesus."  Now I know from my years as a hospice chaplain what you're never supposed to say to a grieving person.  And things like "she's not in pain anymore" or "a...

We are full-on into toddler mode in our house!  It is a crazy, busy, beautiful, question-asking, "mommy-" saying, touching everything kind of season!  I'm telling you, if she says "Mommy" once, she says it 150 times a day.  Now I know why my mom used to say, "I'm going to change my name and not tell you what it is." Let me tell you about this girl.  She is blooming.  I mean seriously coming out of her shell.  We were looking at photos the other day of her homecoming day at the airport (January 6, 2012), and my how time changes things.  It has a funny way of doing that.  She is still shy when she walks into a new environment, but it's taking less and less time for her to "warm up" to where she is.  She is social, chatty, and lately she loves putting her hands on her hips and prissing around the room.  She's girly in some ways, but in others, she's all spunk.  I dig her.  We've already had a "slip up" where mom...

You know those songs that just get you every time?  The ones that you have to turn up really loudly in your car and you don't care who's watching as you sing your little heart out?  I have two of those right now and both of them reflect some deep, deep stuff I've been working through in my heart lately.  See, most people who know me probably would not describe me as a perfectionist.  I'm not really what I would call "Type A" personality, and I sort of 'go with the flow' when it comes to how our days go, especially with Amber Joy.  But it's a facade.  I think I'm discovering that way down deep, I don't like change, I like to know what's coming next, and I most certainly like to have a life that at least feels 'orderly.'  Maybe it's about security?  And I'm not sure why I need for other people to think I'm NOT anal about things when I really am...and probably I just overthink all of this (a trait I've been aware of...

I've let a whole month and a half slip by without a blog post.  As I've said before, I mainly blog for me, to remember things later that were happening today.  But I guess that goes to show how committed I am!  Since last time, I turned 40.  Yep.  The big 4-0.  But let me go on record as saying that, at least for right now, I'm doing ok with it.  No major meltdowns, breakdowns, or tantrums.  Just lots of celebrating with many old friends and some new ones.  Several family members came into town and there have been at least three separate celebrating times!  I always tell Justin that I celebrate the entire month of August...it's my birthday month.  I've always liked my birthday, so why should 40 be any different?  For my gift, my parents, Justin, Amber Joy and I are going to Disney World in January!  It was even on my cake..."Happy Birthday, Steph.  We're going to Disney World!"  I just can't wait any longer to ta...

I can't begin to tell you how in love with this picture I am!  It was taken just last Sunday at our church's cookout.  We see that little smirk on her face quite a lot these days.  And she is becoming more confident, funny, and just plain spunky every single day.  Truly, this is my daughter.  Those who know me know that I'm not overly 'girly,' (though I like pink) and I would rather be comfortable than stylish.  I wanted you to see this photo as I address a very serious matter in this blog post.  This is how Amber Joy looks on most days.  A cute little shirt, shorts, tennis shoes, hearing aids, and that dream face.  We live in a medium-sized town in middle Tennessee and since I'm blessed to be able to stay at home, we do anything but.  We are on the go a lot!  Our town has a cool hands-on kids museum, some fabulous playground/parks, greenways for walking, two nice community centers with indoor and outdoor pools, and libraries wit...

Hey y'all!  I finally figured out that for many years, I misspelled the word "y'all."  I always put the apostrophe after the "a."  So now, I use the word all the time.  And my iphone has even stopped trying to auto-correct me when I type the word in a text.  ;) Anyway, we've been through some more changes in the Miller house lately and since I use my blog mainly as a journal for me, I thought it was time to take a minute to document.  In April, we moved into our new house in Murfreesboro.  It's beautiful and we feel so fortunate to have it.  It appraised for more than we paid, so it's got built-in equity.  Justin and I have talked a lot about some kind of mission work in the future, so re-sale on our home should be fantastic.  Amber Joy is almost two and a half.  So hard to believe!  She's growing, learning, talking, running, jumping, laughing, whining, and eating lots of pasta and rice.  She now refers to herself as "...

I think I may have mentioned the book "A Mother for Choco" in another blog.  Do you have it for your kiddos? I would highly recommend it.  I found it at our old church's consignment sale last year and we've read it to Amber Joy since the day she came home.  I'm going to quote parts of the book here and then tell you what Amber Joy does nowadays when I read her the book (which lately has been every night):   "No matter where Choco searched, he couldn't find a mother who looked just like him." Amber Joy strokes the picture of Choco and says, " ok, Choco, ok ."  *melt my heart* "Choco was so sad he started to cry.  'Mommy, mommy! I need a mommy!' Mrs. Bear came running to see what was the matter.  As she listened to Choco's story, she sighed.  'Oh dear. If you had a mommy, what would she do?'" Amber Joy looks up at me and shakes her head, furrows her brow, and says, "no."  *call me biased,...

Isaiah 43:19 (The Message)  "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands." I have been completely moved by verses like this one lately.  Something new.  Something brand new.  Justin and I have been searching for what comes next for our family over the past six months.  In September, we moved in with my parents in their home in Murfreesboro.  It turned out to be a Providential move, since my dad had two falls and two knee surgeries in the time we've lived here.  But now, it's time for us to move on.  We miss having a place to call our own.  We miss being "just the three of us."  We decided to stay in Murfreesboro, since Justin gets to work from home three days a week and works in Franklin the other two days.  We were looking at existing h...