Honestly...

I didn't think about all of the possibilities that we've been learning about in our training.  For instance, we have been challenged to think long and hard about the implications of adopting a child whose skin color is different from ours.  When he or she is a baby, there will be difficult days, strangers asking questions, rude stares, etc.  But when he or she starts school, there will be an entirely new set of problems that we as a family will have to face.  This realization has not deterred me, but has made me want to be the best mom I can be for this new life.  Maybe I will have to change some of my presumptions and assumptions about raising a child who doesn't look like me.  From the beginning, Justin and I have said "we don't care what color the baby is...we just want a baby to love."  Perhaps God is teaching me that I should care, I need to care.  It will impact our lives and this child's life and to name it and face it will be the way to ensure a positive childhood for him or her. 

Dear sweet baby of mine, we are waiting for you.  We love you already and don't even know your name.  We want to be completely accepting and open to the wrapping you come in!  You will be the light in our lives and the joy of our hearts.  We cannot wait to meet you.

Love,
Mom

Comments

  1. KellyMarch 23, 2010 at 3:07 PM

    This is precious! I think it is amazing that you are willing do adopt inter-racially, regardless of the fears. We have chosen not to do inter-racial adoption this time around, but have discussed it in the future. Sometimes I feel terrible about it...guilty. I have never felt "led" to adopt a child of another race, and I think it takes being led to be able to do it. It's not that I care what color they are, but I am terrified that I wouldn't be able to handle those stares and comments, and the obvious point that they are adopted. Adoption is also very new in Brandon's family, and I don't think they would support it yet, and I never want my child to feel "different" because of skin color. I'd be too defensive I think. But I think all children are precious, and I can't wait to see what child God has in store for you!

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  2. JoyMarch 23, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    Stephanie,

    As you may know we have also been on this adoption journey. At this time our journey is on "wait" or "no" I just can't seem to figure out which one. It is still a journey, nonetheless. One of the biggest things I have learned in the adoption jorney and in Riley's medical journey, is that when you ask God for something; you ask GOD for something. It is through our Faith in HIM that we can ask HIM for something and then step away and let HIM work out HIS plan. This was very hard for me at first. I would pray for God to work HIS plan, but what I really meant was for Him to work out my plan. The one I had in my head. I was busy trying to make sure that "my" plan happened. It finally occured to me one day that His plan would be much better, far less painful in the long run, and to the benefit of us all if I would just allow him to be in charge. The problem was that I lost focus of the fact that HE already knows my story. He already knows the outcome. IF one day we do adopt, He already knows about that as well. It's HIS plan, not mine. I was running around trying to rush an adoption process when Riley's medical needs were yet to be revealed. As soon as I let go of my control of the situation, Riley's needs were revealed to us and it became clear that this is not the time. Maybe one day, maybe not. The important thing was to be okay with things being God's plan, and not MY plan.

    I said all of that to say this to you: God already knows what your sweet child looks like, and He has already prepared your heart to fall in love with this little one. This child belongs to God, and for a time, He will share it with you. When he/she gets here He will look like our FATHER. That's all that matters. Let God worry with the details, you just sit back and enjoy the ride.

    :) Hope this helps a little!
    Joy http://kinardseason.blogspot.com/

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